I'm so glad you found me, Wrap your arms around me,

...Never find a love like this.


I am in a lovely mood right now.  Things just keep falling in line, and I am really liking it-especially after all of last year's turmoil. 

Work is so wonderful right now, well- as wonderful as working as a full-time waitess at O'Charley's can be.  I got a promotion and a big, fat raise, which definitely helps with the savings.  I get to train other servers now, which is neat.  It is funny watching people go through all of the same exact feelings I did when I was first hired. 

My new place is so lovely, and CHEAP!  Metiney and I really have it looking good and homey- homier than Aspen Court ever was to me at least.  Also, we now have two KITTIES!  They are a boy and a girl.  The boy is a sleek grayish cat with jet black markings all over him.  His name is Thelonius, which is pretty badass.  The girl is a little smaller than the boy, and she is mostly black with hints of orange speckled about her.  Right in the middle of her forehead is a yellow little stripe, like a lightening bolt.  She doesn't have a name yet, but for now we are calling her Harry Potter Cat.  They certainly cut down on the boredom and loneliness of the place when no one else is home.

Jered and I are really coming along.  With every bike ride, late night Wal-Mart trip, or random adventure we take, I feel like I love him even more.  I can honestly say that this is the most solid and strong point of ANY relationship I have ever been in, and that makes me really happy.  Right now Jered is gearing up for grad school auditions (which is another blog in itself) and that keeps him very busy.  I am just so proud of him.  I probably don't tell him that as much as I should- I figure his ego is big enough (it really is), and he doesn't need me to make it any bigger... but it is true.  He works so hard.  I respect, admire, and love him so very much.  I hope I never forget how lucky I am to have stumbled upon this guy. 

Also, Jered and I are going to China this May!  The SIUC Wind Ensemble is going to China, and Jered asked me to go with him.  Of course I said yes, as long as he promised he would kiss me on The Great Wall of China.  The numbers are a little scary, but I know that I can do it if I stay focused.  The trip itself is just so incredible, it is still really hard for me to wrap my brain around all of this.  It is a three city tour that will last ten days.  Beijing, Shang Hai, and some other place I don't remember are all stops.  :o)  Woo, China!

Ok, I think that is enough for now.  I am starting to feel a little light headed from all of the mushy mushy.  Actually have to get ready to meet Jered for some coffee. 

Either way.

"When this life tried to keep us apart,
you keep calling me back to your heart,
Let me hear you say,
Oh… Never find a love like this.
Oh… Never find a love like this."

And I know they love it,

so to hell with all that rubbish...

Hooray!  Things are finally starting to pull together in my new place, and I must say, it is looking super cute.  After I got off of work today, I discovered Metiney, my lovely roomie, had picked up some pretty curtains for the living room.  I am blessed and cursed to live with someone who has such a great style.  After all, it does carry over into our living space, but, damn- she's always looking good, and that can be depressing from time to time, lol.  Anyways, we hung those, and a few more things including a clock, a mirror in Met's room (that was an experience), and a coat rack.  I love the coat rack, it is one of the first things that my Grandpa Jerry ever built.  It makes me smile when I look at it.  Neat.

You know, I may have moved out of one of the nicest places in Carbondale and into a rental trailor park, but I don't think I have been this relaxed in at least a year, and it is a nice feeling.  Sure, all of the wood paneling makes it kind of look like the lower level of a pirate ship.  And yes, maybe the hallway does have about five different levels to it- we've dubbed it the Stairway to Heaven.  Maybe washing my hair in my shower is like trying to wash my hair in a light fog- the water pressure is less than spectacular.  I may have a window unit that isn't quite so efficient as central air, and ok- it leaks, but whatev...  I laugh a lot here.  It is already a happy place.  Sweet.

Also, I bought myself an African Violet.  His name is Daryl.

I have been snapping pictures of my moving process, and of the new place.  I will probably make a facebook album eventaully.  You can see all of the fun action there when that time comes. 

Woo!

"Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day.
Take me to New York; I'd love to see LA.
I really want to come kick it with you."

And if you want it, come and get it...

...for cryin' out loud.

Newness.

Maybe I will start writing again. 

Today is a weird day.

Lots of things have happened since my last post, which was in November.

-new major/new school
-new love
-new place/roomie
-new friends

All of these things are good things though, no fretting!  I think I will type some more on each subject later though, as I don't have a lot of time right now.

I have also decided to not do the whole facebook feed thing anymore.  If people really care about reading any of this they can come to read it here.

It is really hot it in here right now.  I suppose my computer trying to burn a whole through my jeans isn't helping much.  Also, the hot coffee... probably a factor in the heat stroke I am getting ready to have.

All in all, I feel more like myself than I ever have before, and I must say it is refreshing.

"Let go your heart, let go your head,
and feel it now.
Let go your heart, let go your head,
and feel it now.

Babylon."

I'm BLUE, da ba de da ba di...

So, I opened my windows, to let the cool night air in.  I always seem to sleep better with the windows open... or at least I used to.  My windows have been open for less than twenty minutes and I have already heard:  a car bumping (yes, bumping) "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5, something that sounded like a semi (think it might have been a tow truck- eek!), and this gem...

Girl (screaming), "Can't you understand where I am coming from?"
Guy (frustrated), "No... because you are being a dumb bitch!"

Whoa.

So, anyways...

-One of our fish, namely Allison's fish, Ulysses- is dying.  He was a beautiful, yellow something or another, and let's just say... the other fish were mean to it.  We have since separated him, but I don't know if he is going to make it through the night.

-I got to see BLUE MAN(!) tonight!  I love the Blue Man Group... they make me want to marry them and have blue babies.  (Props to Ally for the awesome birthday present.)

-I am frantically trying to learn all of O'Chareley's menu.  When I go in for training there are tests.  For real.  Like, real, paper and pencil tests, complete with a little grading scale and everything... over a menu.  They seem to be really...serious... there.

Ok, so now someone is blasting "Nothing But A Good Time."  This place is too much fun.

I am hungry.

"Blue are the people here that walk around,
Blue like my Corvette, its standing outside.
Blue are the words I say and what I think.
Blue are the feelings that live inside me."

I'll look after you

I don't quite know how to sum up the past week's events.  When I think about it, my vision clouds over and a big jumble of events and emotions start to jam up my brain.  Think:  I-64, rush hour, construction, a Cardinal's game, hundred degree weather, and a broken air conditioner...  So, I decided to appropriately sort everything that happened to me into two, very contrasting lists:  a red one, and a blue one.  But, because that didn't comfort me, or maybe just because my favorite color is purple, I didn't finish it.  And that (or maybe the fact that it is 1:55 in the morning) made me ask myself:

What is it that comforts me?  Everyone else?

For me- it is the way that...

...no matter what shape/color/texture my mother's hair is when I go home, her hugs will always feel the same (short, warm, and smelling slightly like the perfume I gave her at Christmas).

...we both know that they will always be red, and not pink.  And that's OK.

...oranges smell when you cut them open.

...marshmallows melt in a cup of hot chocolate, leaving it all foamy on top.

...my purple slippers feel after a long day... or a short day (in high heels).

...my rosary beads feel clutched in my hand, or flying fast over my fingers.

...eighties songs sound in my ear.  They never cease to take me back to my childhood, even if it is only for a second, before I return to my wild dancing and singing.

...it feels when I put on a pair of jeans straight from the dryer on an extremely cold morning.

...in the goofiest of ways, you give me the most serious advice.  It makes me smile, even when I don't feel like it.

...all of the picture frames in my room are gold and are filled with various black and white photos of very important people.  When I look around my room, I realize that I lead a beautiful life.

...when I am upset, you make the coffee happen.  It doesn't matter where we are, or how low I feel- I can always count on two things:  the coffee, and you making me feel better. 

...a full moon turns everything bright blue.

...Monet didn't need to fill up his canvas with a bunch of straight, clear lines to make a masterpiece.

...my Granny will always have toothpaste, laundry detergent, toilet paper, and some new (loooong) story waiting for me when I get home.

...I know my nephews will always be safe and happy as long as they are with you.

...Ally's porch swing will always be that dusty blue color because her momma doesn't want to paint over our "moments."

...I get a bulletin from St. T in the mail every week.

...new friends can sit around a table and just smile and laugh at each other.

...my dad will always have a new baseball card (or seven) to show me when I swing by unexpectedly.

...I feel when I put my navy blue blazer with the broken zipper.  I was in eighth grade when I stole it from Cari.  I am still making good use of it.

...my magic green blanket is so big that it can wrap itself around eight people and still be... MAGIC!

So, yes, all of these:  pretty things, pretty words, old friends and new friends... these are the things that keep me going, even after a week like this. 

I really am a lucky girl.

"There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down"